The things I never realized and some things I did.

I was telling a friend at church the other day how much I wanted the whole world to know Jesus. We were chatting about the increased and increasing tension in the world, the sometimes struggle to remain hopeful amidst parenting stress, financial worries, aging parents and health concerns; our own aging processes and jobs that involve high needs. I sat listening and realized, some of these things just feel like everyday conversation to me, because of the career I get to have. I don’t become hopeless, in fact, I actually expect to see improvement because that is how counseling (most times) works: someone arrives because something feels dire, and as they feel safe and supported, we can process emotions, discover new needs and our own strength. It is quite miraculous, really – the process, the growth and the transformation. I see Jesus in it all…every day, every session.

Perhaps that is why, in reflecting on my conversation with a friend, I can remain hope-filled. I have witnessed it so many times. I don’t know how to be another way…

On the flip side, I am still, ever so diligently and (im)patiently, waiting for my body to return to a familiar pattern of walking. It is both doing so, and it is so slow!

For my whole life, CP has just been there and I’ve grown with it. I don’t even realize most of the time that I am adapting to my environment, sometimes grabbing a hand, using a wall for stability or many other adaptions because it is just what I am used to….

Perhaps this is too much information, I hope not because it feels important…

From the time I started shaving my legs as a teen, I have loathed it. It would make sense, right? When you think about balance being the biggest challenge for me with CP, I cannot balance on one leg, ever. And especially not on a slippery surface and with a sharp object in my hand. And yet, never in my whole life, did I once, think to ask my parents for a shower seat. I just did the best I could, and hated the process in my head. It is the flip side of hope being a given for me – almost as if I assumed the struggle was just a part of the deal.

How often do we go along doing the thing we don’t realize that is actually a struggle because it hasn’t occurred to us that we don’t HAVE TO STRUGGLE? Perhaps this is relationship dynamics that we are just so used to that it doesn’t occur to us that we have choices and power to change more than we thought for? Or maybe the habits that we know don’t make us feel great, but the thought of really changing them feels impossible or too daunting? (This one for me is being on my phone too much! UGH!) Or, one that I am hearing a lot in my practice right now, is carrying around crippling, wounding or damaging beliefs about ourselves that are just NOT true, improving our existence or getting us closer to Jesus.

A couple weeks ago, my compassionate husband asked me, “Babe, we should get you a shower seat.” My first reaction in my body was to push this loving suggestion aside. “I don’t need that!” (Translation: It is so hard for me to accept my limitations, still..) I am so grateful husband did not quit the conversation, but instead, with the heart of Jesus said, “Stace, I don’t want you to struggle or fall in the shower.” And then, “shaving shouldn’t have to be that hard for you.”

It was a moment of being seen and cared for, protected and loved and I almost missed it. Once I got past my own stuff, I could see it with profound gratitude. With the swiftness of Amazon, he put the shower seat together two days later. Though I still wrestled with “being needy,” because of it, when I used it later that night, I shed a couple tears at both the ease of shaving my legs and his wisdom.

I hadn’t realized how I struggled with this seemingly simple thing, my whole life. (And now I think we ALL should have a shower seat! Lovely!)

I didn’t know what I didn’t know…do any of us? I didn’t know that I didn’t have to struggle the way I was and I’ve always had hope. It is a pretty cool moment when the two come together…

I think we could all use a bit of that in our world right now, November 2025. Maybe it’s worth thinking about for a minute, where are you struggling that you don’t need to? What are some things that might be limiting you that you didn’t even realize? On the other side, where are you holding hope and resilience without even realizing it?

Perhaps there is room for a bit of loosening and holding close. Being kinder to ourselves in the struggle and being aware of our own strengths. It comes in lots of ways:  maybe allowing our walls to come down a bit, or being kinder to ourselves, seeing a situation a bit different after a lifetime of limiting beliefs or even in a shower chair. I am ever grateful that Jesus cares about it all because HE cares so deeply about each and every one of us.

Both/And

Xoxo

Psalm 16:9