Like a Handprint on my Heart

Like many in the world right now, I am captivated by the new movie, WICKED, For Good. But my story with Wicked goes back to May 31, 2006. My oldest daughter was 5 months old. I was learning so much about being a mama, about her and was very much changed for the best reasons.

I had watched the Today show off and on growing up, but was really connected to Katie Couric. My focus as a young therapist was bereavement and her story greatly impacted me. I felt some loss myself that day as her last day at the Today show aired. There was a montage of people who had each been touched by Katie’s presence after enduring something in their own stories that was difficult and life changing. Katie dedicated the performance of For Good to this select group who had also impacted her. I can remember watching that performance with awe, tears and so much emotion. The song put into words my thoughts about so many in my life…

I really didn’t know the story of Wicked at that time, but the song became so important to me. A few months later, a dear friend introduced me to the story in the musical and I’ve never been the same.

Just a bit more background…I was introduced to my first “big musical – Les Misérables,” when I was in high school. Much like my love of reading, I became completely enthralled in the story, the music and the beauty of musicals. I would learn the story and music by heart, often acting out the whole show in fabulous one-woman style. This has been true for my whole life (maybe no longer one woman shows, but my love of theater) and has not changed.

The story of WICKED has so many connections for me and I could write many different pieces and perspectives about what it means to me. (Who knows, perhaps I will?) This perspective though, on the eve of Thanksgiving Day is about how so many have impacted and changed me for good…

On a bike ride the day after my daughter and I watched the latest Wicked movie, I found myself thinking about the lyric, “you’ll be with me, like a handprint on my heart…” My mind had drifted there (in a way that is God given) and I thought about person after person in my life who has stayed with me in many ways. I am blessed with a really good memory, so I found myself praying for so many.

I need to confess that I am not as artistically gifted as my kids. (Perhaps with writing, but drawing, painting, etc? Not so much…) That’s why when I got home, my compulsion to create something with all the thoughts I was having surprised me, A LOT. I chatted with youngest about my ideas. She was up for helping, but had some things to finish first. While I waited for her, I began jotting names on a big piece of butcher block paper.

She came back and we began to create a huge heart, filled with many names, all the while remembering and smiling about so many who’ve deeply impacted us. Oldest daughter arrived home and was enthralled also, quickly joining in with names and artistic abilities. The icing on the cake happened when husband and our son also wandered in to join our project. We sat talking, all five of us, picking from a wide array of colors, and discussing how our lives have been changed for good by so many.

The kids were surprised to see I’d written the names of a couple difficult, significant relationships on our project as well. But as I thought about the “handprints on my heart” over the course of my life, even a few difficult relationships are important. God used even the times that were so painful to help me become where I am now.

I sat looking at the names: Campers who changed my life and perspective from Camp Sunshine, a beloved mentor who impacts my life, still, every day, the bullies who made me tougher and stronger from both elementary and high school, my hospice internship supervisor who still exudes peace, wisdom and strength that continues to amaze me. There are countless names and experiences that I am so profoundly grateful for, that I can’t even put into words: the community we are still learning about in our (new-ish) faith community, our parents and grandparents who have given us so much, including a profound legacy of faith, the family who became another family to me as I babysat for them every weekend for many years. There is the pastor who impacted us during COVID, the kids’ friends, co-workers, so many who’ve gone to heaven that we thankfully will be reunited with. Teachers, we and the kids could NEVER forget and so many others…and our Jesus who covers it all, our redeemer who has the biggest impact on everything, everywhere.

In this Thanksgiving week, know that you have all impacted me, our family and our lives somehow, in a beautiful way. If you happen to be at our house, know that whether your name is on our new drawing (or not because we missed it,) know that indeed, we are made of the many handprints on our hearts that God himself knits together. Thank you for your love, impacting presence, wisdom, joy and even the ways you’ve made me (us) stronger. You are loved.

I would love to interact with you about the handprints on your heart, if you so choose. Please feel free to comment below.

Blessings and thanksgiving to you all,

Both/And

Xoxo

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy” (Philippians 1:3-4, NIV