Life abounds

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It’s been a minute since I’ve written. Part of that is just life. The holidays, then the re-grouping that happens afterword. Also…it is January and in my corner of the US, there are more gray days than sunny ones in January (often also in February and March!) As I write this, I am grinning because my kids had 3 snow days last week! Yes, a few good reasons that I’ve been slacking on new post.

Because I also really believe in authenticity, I must also admit that I’ve been a bit discouraged with writing in the last month. I’ve submitted to a writing contest 2 years in a row and have not been chosen. I am well aware this is all part of the deal. I am not entitled to be chosen, but I am very human and wonder sometimes if this is good enough to go anywhere or make a difference at all….

I wonder if you’ve ever felt this way? With permission, my oldest daughter is swimming in college and has been sharing with me her own insecurities about being good enough as well. It is hard NOT to feel this way at times, isn’t it? And again, if we can be transparent, isn’t it really normal for us all to have these doubts, thoughts and misgivings occasionally, at least, while we are on this side of heaven?

Here is a snippet of how I have heard many who experience these same insecurities, this week alone:

“Stacy, I just don’t think I am good enough to get an interview.”

“I am a terrible person.” (Me – “I wonder what makes you say that?”) “So many reasons, if you only knew!”

“What if no one ever wants to be in relationship with me?”

Yep, we’ve all been in the sea of insecurity at some point in our lives, yes?

Our beloved Pastor Ross shared these two words Sunday and I have been thinking on them ever since.  He was talking about the Sea of Galilee, where “life abounds.”  He is also the person who introduced me to, “grace abounds” for which I am so grateful. I think” life abounds” wasn’t even directly related to the “point” of the sermon, but instead is part of Ross’s every day outlook and yet, I’ve been mulling those two words over since Sunday.

I don’t know how you feel about this past week, but I feel like it’s been a bit of everything (not just the snow days). I have heard concern over relationships due to political beliefs, fear of deportation, fear for safety after a house fire, fear of “not being able to afford my medication,” and massive fear of change at every turn. I have also heard joy, those feeling deeply moved at the inauguration festivities and hope for their own reasons. It has indeed, been a both/and kind of week. Yes, I am more than comfortable with both/and, how to hold contradicting feelings at the same time. And yet, I find myself at a loss for words at all the unknowns…

I find myself empathizing, and re-iterating how difficult it is to feel SO MUCH at the same time. And, not having a great explanation, reassurance, or an answer for the many issues involved with all of this in our beloved country. The truth is, even since I began writing this piece, there has more massive unrest in the US, further sweeping decisions and a tragic aircraft accident in Washington DC that is utter heartbreak. Yes, I don’t know what to say…

But the anchor that tethers me, is my trust in my God of heaven and earth. Every time I feel my heart skip many beats related to it all, the concerns and indignation of my teens at the state of this world, every single moment of imploring from clients, friends and family as to why things feel so…(what is even the word?) frightening, chaotic, unbalanced, even terrifying, I steady myself with the words from the book I love.

Psalm 13

How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?

3 Look on me and answer, LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,

4 and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

6 I will sing the LORD’s praise, for he has been good to me.

 

Lamentations 3:22–23

“The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness” 

Psalm 136:1-26

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever” 

 

Steadfast. Faithfulness. Endures…

Thank you,  Jesus. I can breathe, when I read this. I can hope and my body remembers who IS in control. And, thankfully, I CAN trust…

Life does and will abound, even when things feel so foreign, downright maddening, fearful and unknown. WE are all KNOWN. He is sovereign and present.

Even though, in my limitations, I cannot understand all the dynamics of the world in 2025. I AM scared, uneasy and appalled. And…I can trust him, no matter what…

Let’s help each other in these moments of fear. Let us remind one another that we are NOT alone, even when it feels that way. Let’s take the time to listen, respect and care about one another’s experiences. The truth is, anything other than this, leads us to more of the same that we are currently afraid of.

For me, I want to be a part of something on this earth, where life does indeed abound. Can we take care of each other, listen, and love, rather than well, anything else? Let’s support, see and hear, rather than tear down, hurt and wound…or, heaven forbid, make things worse.

Matthew 28: 20 says, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

I have THIS hope.

Both/And

Psalm 13

xoxo

Here’s to a brave new year…

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Around 1995, I heard a song. It was a Christmas song, but funny, I only remember one line of the lyrics. Not the name of the actual song, nor any of the other lyrics. Just 7 random words that have stuck with me for about 30 years…

I wish you a brave new year….

You see, about that time, I was grieving the loss of my grandpa, (who died just a few weeks before Christmas)  and was nearing the 2nd anniversary of my Gram’s death. The time since losing her had not in any way, been easy. I learned more about grief in the loss of her than I could write in 100 pages. We often learn the most in the midst of the hardest seasons, from my perspective. I remember, as the Christmas season approached, still and again feeling shocked some moments, angry in other moments, lonely and desperately sad in others and feeling like the me I’d known before, was completely gone following the loss of them both. The loss of Gram began a process of learning about death that changed me in tremendous ways. With every death following, I have grieved the same and differently. Grandpa was different in many ways but taught me its’ own lessons.

I worked for a teen ministry and monthly, I wrote a letter to update our donors about the ministry and the impacts their donations were making. I loved writing those. However, as the difficulty of grief overshadowed many of the ways I experienced joy, writing the Christmas edition of our newsletter was proving to be difficult that year. I was restless, numb and could not find inspiration under the weight of all the confusing, conflicted feelings.

While riding in the car with a dear friend, a Christmas song came on. I am sure I heard it like Charlie Brown hears his teacher….(Waaa waaa, waaaa, wa wa, you get the idea.) But like a light piercing darkness, the lyric, I wish you a brave new year pierced through my grief-heavy thoughts and instantly brought tears to my eyes. My dear friend understood without any explanation that again, grief had shown up in the most obscure way. I am so thankful for that friend, with whom I have known for 30 or more years and we’ve walked through much, including a lot of other losses. She just understood…

I leaned my head back as she drove, half-praying and half willing the big emotions away as the line repeated: I wish you a brave new year. I had no idea how to be brave in another year without them, or any day, for that matter. Yet, as my friend took me shopping in an effort to “be normal,” the line kept running through my head.
I lay in bed that night, praying for bravery for myself.

In the next few days, I sat down and somehow, the newsletter came together. It became a wish for a brave new year as the central theme. It became a drum-beat in my own life and prayers for so many others over time.

I’ve never forgot that line and as I get to this time of year, it has come back to me, again.
I find myself thinking, “Oh my stars, don’t we need bravery more than ever?”
It’s been intense for us as humans this year. Health concerns, social and political upheaval, financial concerns, loss of many kinds and the list goes on…
And we’ve had so much bravery! I am so proud of us all. Holding onto faith, family, careers, our ideals, our hopes and dreams. And yet, the wish for a brave new year couldn’t be more important.

Recently, a dear colleague lost her valiant battle with cancer. She was one of the best therapists I know, she taught me so very much about building rapport, attachment and having fun. Her brave, beautiful fight for life was nothing short of breathtaking. I am praying bravery over her family who endures the loss her, this side of heaven.

A couple from our church have shown me so much about bravery. Perhaps that isn’t even a big enough word…they have immigrated from Venezuela under very intense circumstances. I’m sure I haven’t even heard the smallest bit of what they have also endured but with the bit that I have, I wouldn’t blame them if they were bitter, frustrated or scared. But to say they are the most joy-filled humans I’ve met in a long time isn’t a right description, either. I don’t know of anyone I’ve met recently, who is braver. We all could use that kind of bravery…

Single parents, those who are doing the job that is meant for two, while also caring for themselves.

Those who fight to get out of bed each and every day because of the dark and anxious thoughts that threaten each moment.

Those who endure the plight of homelessness, the cold, food scarcity and painful days.

Yes, the list could go on and on, we could all add to it.

I am overcome with the desire to pray, hold dear and plead for mercy and brave hearts for many as we go into a new year. I have learned so much in the last 365 days. I also know without doubt that I have never been more aware of my need for the love and sovereignty of God than I do these days. It is all both/and isn’t it?

How ever you are stepping into 2025, whether brimming with hope, fighting back hopelessness or somewhere in between, I am grateful for you and praying you into a brave life that is filled with the good.

Jesus, you and your presence is so needed here and now. I am so grateful that you are aware of the many, many ways we need and love you. Even when it feels like there is so much that is hard and scary or even unthinkable, you are the bravery we all need. You are good and true. Thank you for another year that we get to remember how brave we can be because of you.
“Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be you dismayed: for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Both/And
xoxo

For your elevation…

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It is just barely 24 hours post-thanksgiving celebrations; my stomach still feels full of all the goodness, as does my heart. From the gratitude and love experienced in our church home to the love of family and friends, mouth – watering meals, laughter and moments unforgettable to the white blanket of snow outside my window that seems to simply whisper, “all things new,” I am quietly taking it in this morning.

Who am I to have received all the blessings of this life, this last year? From life, breath, health, love, support and provision, God has seen to every little thing and every big thing. Friendships, hope, new beginnings, reflection on the journey and the most care, I am in awe of how He loves.

Just moments ago, a breathless call from my boys, (husband and son) telling me of their sheer joy in getting out to hunt this morning. Perhaps this is not YOUR thing. Maybe yours is antiquing, photography or singing. Your breathless re-telling may be joy of seeing the new WICKED movie, playing with children and grands or like my good friend, Davis, knowing all the dogs in the neighborhood. Davis also really loves trash cans, isn’t that cool? I love how God has given us each unique and beautiful reasons to be grateful. I love that they can be wide and as varied as individual snowflakes and grains of sand.

One of my biggest joys recently has been the opportunity to participate in the Educator’s Neighborhood through the Fred Rogers Institute. I applied in the Spring to this initiative through the institute to carry on the work of our favorite neighbor. There are monthly meetings focusing on a specific topic important in the development of healthy kids and families, spending time with a group of professionals who still love Mr. Rogers and his neighborhood.  It has been so rich already, to spend time with those who love and value Mr. Rogers, his approach of love, kindness, knowledge and care in the hopes of carrying these values into our professions, our families and even ourselves.

Last month, we had the opportunity to listen to Hedda Sharapan, a renowned scholar of child development and someone who worked so closely with Mr. Rogers, the Neighborhood and the production of the show. To listen to her share stories of time with one of my heroes, from both a professional and personal level – well, let’s just say, wow…

One of the things she shared with us has been niggling in my brain since that meeting. She recalled how she used to read scripts with a producer’s perspective and then would give them back to Fred with a note, “for your revision.” She then told us, “Here’s the thing about Fred. He just elevated everything. He was intense about the show, writing the scripts, the music, being a master puppeteer, and encouraging all of us to care that much too. He elevated all things, even listening to and caring about people. I began changing the note from, “for your revision to for your elevation,” because he just elevated all of us.” (Note, this is not a direct quote from Hedda, instead, it is my own paraphrase of the conversation with her from that meeting.)

FOR YOUR ELEVATION….

I’ve been thinking how wonderful it was that this is how she experienced him, that she shared that perspective with us and how incredible it was, that he truly lived, elevating others. And as soon as I realize his gifts in loving others, my brain (thankfully) whispers, “so much like Jesus…”

Yes, so much like my Savior. Always elevating the Father. ALWAYS, right? How I wish to be that way! I think it’s the most beautiful compliment and further, the most beautiful way of being…

I asked this question recently on my social media accounts: what does it mean to elevate others?

A few of the answers: “Making someone feel special and important by your words and actions toward them.” “Encouraging others in their endeavors.” “Looking for the best in people and sharing that with the person and with others.” “Filling their cup! Tell them why it is you choose to have them in your life. Tell them the ways they are special and loved.”

This too, inspires me. There were so many brilliant and compassionate responses.

I encounter so many brave people, witnessing the ways they elevate others even when struggling with something personally. I have dear family and friends who inspire me to keep giving, caring and loving even when it seems hard. There is a level of hope in elevating others that seems to redeem “the good in humanity.”

It is the season of Advent, another that reminds me of “the good, elevation.” The Bible Project defines it this way:

Advent means “arrival” and signifies the start of an event or the arrival of a person. In Christian communities around the world, Advent refers to a four-week season of remembering and celebrating the arrival of Jesus on Earth. It’s a time to reflect on the unexpected nature of Jesus’ humble birth and join in the anticipation of when he will come again to reunite Heaven and Earth once and for all.

We reflect on the concepts of hope, peace, love, and joy—one for each week leading up to Christmas. People may light Advent candles, prepare unique wreaths, hold special church services, or read specific Scriptures each day to reflect on the arrival of Jesus on Earth.

Jesus, the hope of all hopes…

The reason for all humanity to celebrate, to elevate one another this holiday season.

What gifts, to focus on hope, peace love and joy AND the arrival of Jesus, then and now? Elevation, in every sense, right? This gives me chills, hope and a renewed sense of purpose.

May we be those in the world who indeed, work toward and for the elevation of all the good things. May we use our words, actions, hopes and talents toward making the world a better and brighter place, now and always. May we exemplify the lives of those we admire, who’ve worked tirelessly to live like Jesus.

And Jesus, may we always live in the expectation and love of you, our maker and creator. For you, lived for the elevation of God the Father and died so we could be with him. May we always remember why you came, arrived here as a helpless babe in a dingy stable and died on a cruel cross. For our elevation…

My heart, at the end of this week, feels torn in so many places.

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It’s not that I don’t agree with people’s right to choose. I say it all the time, to brave clients to my kids, to myself. We each DO get to choose.

I have spent months processing the strain and stress of this election cycle with those in every part of my life: friends, family, clients, strangers, colleagues. I have spent years talking to those retraumatized and disenfranchised due to the actions of D. Trump. None of this is new to me either, there is always some who strive to make others feel less, to make themselves feel better.

Yes, I respect that people get to choose, it is what our amazing country is built on. But I cannot abide (and what I have spent hours listening to and caring deeply about this week,) the loss of human dignity, respect, care, and decency. From women who are fearful for their own health, the many ways in which I am hearing sexual abuse survivors, become retraumatized by some of his words and sound bites or even the fact that an abuser has been elevated and chosen.

I cannot abide texts to children that recall and instigate again the atrocities of slavery, things that majority of us will never have to face but for many brothers and sisters, what their ancestors did. The fear and reality of racism increasing confirmed just days into this new reality.

I don’t know how to answer my own family’s imploring questions about how those of us with disabilities might be treated after mockery on a national stage. Nor do I know how to comfort those I love in the LGBTQ+ community.

My warrior teacher friends who are terrified with implications of sweeping education reform, the anger against Christians, from Christians and about Christians…

The realities of all these and so much more leave me utterly breathless…

And…. still we have love; still we have hope, care and where we can find those who want to understand each of our lived experiences, compassion, empathy, and more love.

My personal comfort comes and remembering the sun still comes up each day as it did before, God is still magnificently on his throne and not surprised by any of it. He loves deeper, cares infinitely more and is so sovereign, even if it’s hard to see that. Because I know all of this deep into my bones, I’m going to keep trying to love, to continue supporting those who are hurting and fearful, as well as trying to understand the perspective of those who are happy, post election, 2024.

Here is my plea with all of this in mind: just for a minute if you haven’t had to endure these difficulties, I’m thankful on your behalf. I would ask for kindness and understanding for so many who have and are so scared for so many reasons. Let’s not forget each other, or contribute to the pain that so many are encountering today.

If the selection came down to economy for you, there’s so much more to this than that in my professional and personal experiences.  If it came down to abortion and saving the lives of babies, do we have the same passions to save the lives of those around us?

Please consider this not as judgment if we differ in opinions, but simply a plea to value, dignify, and love each other. There is so much good in the world. And there is so much harm and hate. May we be a nation that contributes to the good and lessens the ugly hard. Though there has been so much more ugly hard in my corner of the world, especially this week, I still believe that God gives us the capacity to be more.

My beautiful daughter, as we were processing her thoughts and her heart after voting in this election, so beautifully reminded me of this verse. I am stunned by her faith. I am ever grateful.

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:21-24

Both/and

Xoxo.

Having a full heart, a lot of thoughts, and holding it kindly. (New post below!)

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No matter where you are today, you are important. https://stacymcneely.com/my-heart-at-the-end-of-this-week-feels-torn-in-so-many-places/

Whatever we have to do…

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I wrote this Monday, but for some reason had difficulty publishing it…

She smiled at me, eyes full of depth, love and joy.

“Mama, you are always there for us.”

My heart jumped up to my throat in that very second. The dialogue in my mind was so ready to argue the minute she said it to me. “No you’re not, you completely blew her off the other day. You didn’t show up for her rehearsal, you overslept so she overslept and she is really stressed out about her busy day.” My inner critic was instantly telling that I kept screwing things up as her mom.

“I love you so much, Mama.” Her arms slid around me and the hug she so willing gave leveled me. I held her back, brushed the hair off her forehead and kissed her head.

“I love you too, babe; more than you will ever know.”

“Oh, I do know mama. You tell me all the time.”

Though this interaction was with my youngest over the weekend, it has been with my older two over time as well. Consistently, they love in spite of my “mistakes,” my inner critic and all the ways I am human.

Perhaps you relate? I have been alive AND a therapist long enough to know that I am not in a minority in the ways that we beat ourselves up, emotionally. It is by far, one of the most common themes that show up in counseling. We have soaring expectations of ourselves, our conversations, our stamina, our parenting, communication skills, parenting and the list could go on and on…

It is increasingly more difficult in our society to be kind to each other, let alone to ourselves.

It would be easy for me to become jaded as a therapist in the world as we know it today. It is one day before the 2024 Presidential election, the world is exceedingly polarized and it seems, lacking empathy and filters with our friends, family and loved ones. If I am honest with you, I am not jaded, but I am a bit weary: the biting and bitter rhetoric that comes at every turn, families and friends who walk on eggshells with one another, a profound loss of respect and finally, saturation by ads, mailing, phone calls and texts. Yes, I AM a bit weary…

More than that though, I am sad. I am pained and hopeful for something so much better for all of us.

 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said, “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

Whew….that’s a thought, isn’t it?  Whatever we have to do…?

What have those before us done, in order to keep moving forward? Our history books are full of those who have worked, scraped, sacrificed and never given up to keep going forward. Our Bible – the very life and love of Jesus…

We took communion at church yesterday and our guest pastor talked about “taking, receiving and giving.” I can’t stop thinking about that today…

It is my hope and prayer today, that we can really SEE one another as we vote or maybe already have. Can we see the person just ahead of you at the polls, another who is wearing the opposite candidate’s t-shirt as someone’s mom, dad, teen or grandparent? Can we see ourselves speaking to others as if they ARE those people in our lives?

I’ve been doing a lot of talking with those who have been around longer than I. Most reflect to me, “Elections were not this way before. If your candidate won or lost, you may have been happy or sad, but everyone realized this was democracy and why we all get to choose. It has become so divisive, splitting relationships and involving a level of anger and bitterness we’ve never seen.”

How about you? If you are reading, do you agree? Or is it difficult to remember anything other than how the political landscape feels today?

Here’s my thought today… if this is all you can remember, both political parties with drive to win, to be for America, but with decidedly different approaches and the spirit of pain, dissension and ugliness that we can all feel, let’s make the next 24 hours better. Let’s make the days and weeks following Election Day, results and everything after, BETTER. Let’s make that our most important goal, no matter what – as if we actually WOULD, FLY, RUN, WALK, CRAWL OR WHATEVER WE HAVE TO DO TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

******

*Here I am, the day after this election has been completed. I read through these words I jotted on Monday and they are poignant to me. “Whatever we have to do to keep moving forward…”

This takes on a new meaning for all of us today, I suppose. However you land with these results, celebrating or hurting, hopeful or disillusioned, God is for you, he is for us, ALL.

Take good care of your hearts, your thoughts, and your people. Breathe, look around, find something beautiful right where you are.

“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”

Frederick Buechner

Both/And

Psalm 13

xoxo

New post –

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Hey there, I am not sure how long I will keep posting here and on my business page. We are working on adding a subscribe button for direct notifications on the new page.

Until then, here are some new thoughts today and beyond. God is good.

https://stacymcneely.com/whatever-we-have-to-do/

New post!

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Hi there! I have a new post just published here! I am so sorry for the delay, working diligently on the new merged site that combines my work and my writing. Thank you for your patience as we are trying to get the new site set and just as user friendly. Until I can get the subscription button in place, please use the following link to connect with my writing there.

I so appreciate your reading, feedback and interaction. Writing is such joy to me.

Blessings and seeds of joy, https://stacymcneely.com/unlikely-friends-beauty-lupines-and-desperation/

World Cerebral Palsy Day, 2024

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I find myself in a strange, yet lovely and new spot as I age. I am far more accepting of myself, the roles that I am called to, the ways these change like the tide and the ways they are beautifully and achingly the same. My role as “mom,” is ever-changing as my kids also age. With my oldest in college this year, my 17 year old son on the very brink of adulthood and my 13 year old daughter changing before my eyes, I would be remiss if I didn’t take an honest look at how I am changing as well…

They don’t need me the same ways they always have; they need me in different ways now. (By the way, THIS change is also wrought with both/and, the grief of changing family dynamics and the exhilarating moments of growth.)

Yes, I MUST acknowledge both/and as our family shifts a bit…otherwise, I forfeit the beauty and right-ness of God’s plans for all of our lives, rather than becoming bitter, fearful and sad at all the independence and therefore, change, that plays out in every moment of every day in our family.

There are other changes too…

I have been working for two full years with EMDR International (EMDRIA) to become a certified EMDR clinician, which will reach completion this week. Just as quickly, I will begin the process of becoming an approved consultant with this ground-breaking organization. As I look at the next chapter of this career I love dearly, I am focused on bringing continued perspective and growth to brave clients as well as assisting other therapists who also care deeply about complex trauma and the healing work of EMDR.

I am a part The Fred Rogers Educator’s Neighborhood for the next year as well. I am very honored to have been accepted by Fred Rogers Institute for this year long study. Along with a group of others who have been impacted by Mr. Rogers, we are together learning  how to utilize Mr. Rogers’ wealth of knowledge, study and perspective in many areas of child, family and  professional development. Though we have met only twice, I am so thankful to rub shoulders with others in the world who genuinely believe, like Mr. Rogers, that kindness really does change us all. And heavens, don’t we all need more kindness in the world?

As there always is in life, there are difficult adjustments too: this week, two significant deaths in our world. Though I specialize in grief and loss, it is still very personal when it happens to you or in your very personal corner of the world. Losses bring us to the opportunity (I say this so gently,) to look back, to grieve again or in new ways and to use losses to inform how we want to LIVE going forward.

There are new and enduring friendships, growth in so many areas as we have recently come home, again to the church that played such an important part of my life from age 14 – 24. God has stretched, challenged and blessed our family in profound ways in the process of leaving our former church, grief like I have never known in that process and the faithfulness of finding a new church community. It is both the biggest blessing to be cared for, to be vulnerable and to love and care for others in this new and not new church home.

Finally, there is the both/and as World Cerebral Palsy Day was observed on October 6, 2024.

It is a heart-wrenching thing, this part of my identity that I so wish wasn’t AND after many years of grappling with what it means for and about me, to find pride, hope and love for myself and fellow CP warriors. It is so holy to see, validate and celebrate the bad-ass-ness (I made that up, can you tell?) that comes with living with and caring for those with this disability. This week, a friend finally got to bring her son (who has CP) home from at least a month’s stay in the hospital for complications with seizures and other physical issues. I am stunned by her son’s (and her own) positive attitude after so much. For as much shame as I have carried and overcome in my lifetime around my own diagnosis with CP, it is gift to be able to smile and be proud on World CP Day.

Here’s the thing…God is not, will not and has never been surprised at the ways he created us, the things we do need to go manage here, apart from heaven and how we are limited in our humanity in the midst of these things. He IS with us, even if it feels like he absolutely IS NOT. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, ” The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Ohhhh, that’s such a hard one, isn’t it? We are so human in that feeling that says, “why does God put me through this? He COULD change _________________…..”

I hear it multiple times a day and my own reaction is understanding the question AND compassion. What I hear in that phrase, I immediately  think, “oh, he is NOT, putting you through it; he is holding you, as he himself hurts that this is happening too.”

I do not understand all the mystery that surrounds the what’s, how’s and whys that surround God and his sovereignty. I have been there too, crying in rage, frustration and desperation. I have also come to a place where there is more peace in releasing the whys to God’s care and fully trusting him anyway…

I suppose that is how, after many years, many feelings, many experiences and many prayers, I can joyfully put on my green World CP day t-shirt, raise a “cheers,” to my fellow bad-asses, and hold space for that rather than the negative.

I am curious, how are you experiencing change in this season? Maybe we can hold each up, give more care to ourselves and others and float on these crazy waves of change rather than fight them…

God, who is in it all, through it all and who holds it all together: Thank you for understanding our limits, frustration and even anger when things aren’t changing for the good. Thank you being near, always. May we seek your understanding, your heart and greater trust in your love and goodness. May we see ourselves and each other with your vision, compassion and desire for whole-ness. May we know love and joy as only you can give.

xoxo

Both/And

Deuteronomy 31:8