Whatever we have to do…

I wrote this Monday, but for some reason had difficulty publishing it…

She smiled at me, eyes full of depth, love and joy.

“Mama, you are always there for us.”

My heart jumped up to my throat in that very second. The dialogue in my mind was so ready to argue the minute she said it to me. “No you’re not, you completely blew her off the other day. You didn’t show up for her rehearsal, you overslept so she overslept and she is really stressed out about her busy day.” My inner critic was instantly telling that I kept screwing things up as her mom.

“I love you so much, Mama.” Her arms slid around me and the hug she so willing gave leveled me. I held her back, brushed the hair off her forehead and kissed her head.

“I love you too, babe; more than you will ever know.”

“Oh, I do know mama. You tell me all the time.”

Though this interaction was with my youngest over the weekend, it has been with my older two over time as well. Consistently, they love in spite of my “mistakes,” my inner critic and all the ways I am human.

Perhaps you relate? I have been alive AND a therapist long enough to know that I am not in a minority in the ways that we beat ourselves up, emotionally. It is by far, one of the most common themes that show up in counseling. We have soaring expectations of ourselves, our conversations, our stamina, our parenting, communication skills, parenting and the list could go on and on…

It is increasingly more difficult in our society to be kind to each other, let alone to ourselves.

It would be easy for me to become jaded as a therapist in the world as we know it today. It is one day before the 2024 Presidential election, the world is exceedingly polarized and it seems, lacking empathy and filters with our friends, family and loved ones. If I am honest with you, I am not jaded, but I am a bit weary: the biting and bitter rhetoric that comes at every turn, families and friends who walk on eggshells with one another, a profound loss of respect and finally, saturation by ads, mailing, phone calls and texts. Yes, I AM a bit weary…

More than that though, I am sad. I am pained and hopeful for something so much better for all of us.

 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said, “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”

Whew….that’s a thought, isn’t it?  Whatever we have to do…?

What have those before us done, in order to keep moving forward? Our history books are full of those who have worked, scraped, sacrificed and never given up to keep going forward. Our Bible – the very life and love of Jesus…

We took communion at church yesterday and our guest pastor talked about “taking, receiving and giving.” I can’t stop thinking about that today…

It is my hope and prayer today, that we can really SEE one another as we vote or maybe already have. Can we see the person just ahead of you at the polls, another who is wearing the opposite candidate’s t-shirt as someone’s mom, dad, teen or grandparent? Can we see ourselves speaking to others as if they ARE those people in our lives?

I’ve been doing a lot of talking with those who have been around longer than I. Most reflect to me, “Elections were not this way before. If your candidate won or lost, you may have been happy or sad, but everyone realized this was democracy and why we all get to choose. It has become so divisive, splitting relationships and involving a level of anger and bitterness we’ve never seen.”

How about you? If you are reading, do you agree? Or is it difficult to remember anything other than how the political landscape feels today?

Here’s my thought today… if this is all you can remember, both political parties with drive to win, to be for America, but with decidedly different approaches and the spirit of pain, dissension and ugliness that we can all feel, let’s make the next 24 hours better. Let’s make the days and weeks following Election Day, results and everything after, BETTER. Let’s make that our most important goal, no matter what – as if we actually WOULD, FLY, RUN, WALK, CRAWL OR WHATEVER WE HAVE TO DO TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

******

*Here I am, the day after this election has been completed. I read through these words I jotted on Monday and they are poignant to me. “Whatever we have to do to keep moving forward…”

This takes on a new meaning for all of us today, I suppose. However you land with these results, celebrating or hurting, hopeful or disillusioned, God is for you, he is for us, ALL.

Take good care of your hearts, your thoughts, and your people. Breathe, look around, find something beautiful right where you are.

“Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.”

Frederick Buechner

Both/And

Psalm 13

xoxo