Saturated (part 2)

After we left Pittsburgh, our travels took us through the rest Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia and finally into Washington DC.

Our youngest daughter, who has always struggled with motion sickness, forgot about her worried tummy as we took in the scenery. This was not a trip we’d ever taken as a family, so the colors, the landscape, changes from rural to urban and so much more, were inspiring to all of us. Saturated, indeed! Our daughter’s wonder never ceases to amaze and show us more who Jesus is…

We arrived at the Club Wyndham, Old Town, Alexandria. As condos go, top notch. Pure delight to be immersed in a part of the nation that is as old as it gets, and updated beautifully. Our kids were so appreciative and the joy on their grandparents faces was well worth the wait to get here. Timing (three weeks into the school year and in the midst of senior year swim season) was not ideal but already, the time together was proving to be so worth these few sacrifices.

After a grocery trip and ultra-affordable dinner at Costco, we were all thankful, tired and thrilled to spend time in the greater DC area in the days to come…

The next day brought joy in many ways. It is so interesting to me how we all have unique interests that truly make us who we are.

Do you remember one of my first posts about Tiffany & Co? My daughter has great taste in jewelry, which means, I have followed her lead. About a half hour from our condo was a Tiffany store, that though most items are well past what we want, she and I love to oooh and aaaah over the sparkle, history and the sheer artistry of Elsa Peretti, just one of the many talented artists of Tiffany. E did an art project last year about her Elsa’s and talent that left me so curious about her. E also made her first “big-girl” purchase from Tiffany during a trip to Chicago last year and it will forever hold a special place in her jewelry-loving heart. Even this, feels saturated to me…the beauty and joy, the wandering and conversation and holding value for others’ talents.

The day held adventures of it’s own, riding the Metro for the first time, experiencing the tiniest bit of DC and it’s beautiful history, architecture and massive differences from Michigan. Time together, vacation hopes and all the blessings that come with changes to daily routine and responsibilities. Our kids befriended Metro workers, (Miss Sugg, who greeted us happily after a few different Metro rides), Craig our concierge, offered to help carry groceries for an elderly woman at Costco and generally left us amazed as well. So many ways to see how God himself that turned up the saturation. We had dinner at Bob and Edith’s, a nostalgic 24-hour diner just steps from the condo and another fun experience!

Our first sight-seeing trip was the Capitol building. It was hard to take in all the history, the architecture and the wonder in just a single day. There was something profound about the history and depth to the space, statues, and the traditions that are embodied here. We saw and heard it again and again, throughout every tour, visit and moment of learning history here. It was impossible to not be awestruck as we saw the first Supreme Court, the Rotunda and the memorial statues sent here by each state. Our kids had recognition and wonder at learning about their historical role models, almost as if they were meeting them in person. To stand in the gallery in the House of Representatives felt important – all the important moments that up until then, we’d only witnessed on tv and here we were. You couldn’t help but respect the time, space and grandeur of every square inch of the Capitol building, as well as appreciate the sacrifice and work done in these walls. It is easy to believe the negative, difficult and jaded ideas about politics, but for me, I saw so much respect and pride from every employee, volunteer and caretaker we encountered.

After the Capitol, we made our way to the United States Holocaust Museum. We knew it would be intense, but also, “knew,” that we all needed to experience it. My mama’s heart felt concerned for my youngest, especially because of her age, her sensitivity, and the incomprehensible horrors, but, I could not have known how God would saturate us, even there…

I can’t put it into words, I would not even know how to begin. It was gut-wrenching, incomprehensible, and entirely mind bending to walk through this miniscule representation of the real-life horrors endured by so many. “The total of the Jewish victims is just over 5,750,000 and is based on such country by country and region by region records as survive” (Martin Gilbert in his book “Atlas of the Holocaust”). I read also that the real number, in reality, is impossible to gauge.

Our time looking into vacant, heroic eyes in photos, listening to their stories via recordings, small models of rail cars, barracks, and even models of the Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp, though horrifying and sickening, were nothing in comparison to the unimaginable reality. I have thought about this chapter in our worlds history since I was young. I watched the Hiding Place, the story of Corie Ten Boom, when I was about 12, I think. I had difficulty processing it then, with good reason. I hope and pray we as a society can never comprehend it. This time, the reality hit me hard, in such different ways than the movie in my youth.

I used a wheelchair this trip. It wasn’t lost on me as I rolled through the exhibits (more information than I had the time or ability to take in on one trip), how if I had been Jewish in that time period, I most likely would have been killed very quickly. I drew in many difficult breaths, thinking about the many vulnerable in this already vulnerable horror. I had SO MANY questions…and so much empathy.

It was both heartbreaking and holy to notice our kids awareness, empathy, listen to questions, even witness their apprehension and tears as God left unmistakable impressions on all of our hearts. We stood in the beautiful chapel together at the end of our time, only able to whisper, “God, have mercy.”

We wandered into the bookstore at the end of the tour and there were a few key themes.

What You Do Matters

Never Stop Asking Why

Remember the Children

Think About What You Saw

Never Again

I couldn’t help but think how much these phrases are both unique to the horrors of the Holocaust and can be applied to so many present day situations. We still to need to consider our own brokenness, the plight of many around us and the value of all humans. I found myself praying fervently as we made our way back to the condo. I did a lot of asking God how could the world have been so turned upside down? How can it still be sometimes? By God’s mercy, the Holocaust is not happening again, but oh, the world is still, so, so lost sometimes….

I spend my days talking with many, sometimes myself about the unanswerable whys. Often in my office, we discuss the the hope found in feeling feelings, even if, we may never get the black and white answer that so often, we desperately seek. I cannot take away the pain or fix, a problem most days. And as much as I ache to do just that, to provide the easy out of the pain of so many experiences this side of heaven, MY hope, my one and only hope, is the love and sovereignty of the Lord Jesus Christ.

8  For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD.

9  ^pFor as the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

I cannot, with any of my limited thoughts, make sense of the massive loss of human life, the brutality and lifelong wounds of the unthinkable Holocaust. Nor can I make sense of the sudden death of a friend’s beloved spouse while we were on vacation; recurring cancer, or a recent diagnosis. Families estranged, addiction and depression that rob so many of life, love and joy. I cannot, and if I get stuck in trying, I end up more frightened, desperate, and perhaps angry at the one who DOES understand it all…

Not that God himself can’t handle ALL those feelings. I have not a single doubt about that.

So, in the effort to sit with the pain, the things we will NOT understand this side of heaven, I am authentic with Jesus, my questions and sheer agony as I look at the history here. We thanked him for the gift of being able to honor those who died, talk with our kids and point them back toward HIM who IS HOPE. And we continue to help our kids live and shape the world we live in at present; and I hold on to Jesus with all I’ve got.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:20

This is what the first few days looked like to me, saturated in time, relationships, beauty, unfathomable horror, conversations, processing and connecting the hope of Jesus to it ALL.

The evening would bring a whole other kind of saturation, one that you’ll have to wait for in the next post!

Both/And

Isaiah 55 and Ephesians 3