Quite simply, Both/And means to hold more than one, often conflicting emotions at the same time.
I began to understand this idea while processing my own feelings about various subjects while I was in graduate school, doing my own work. Since then, I have tried to normalize the idea of having multiple, sometimes conflicting emotions, at the very same time. Our culture sometimes teaches that emotions themselves are “bad” and that if we DO have any negative ones, we better hurry up and deal with that.
As I began to understand that I was rarely, if ever, that one dimensional with my own emotions, it became one of the primary things I taught brave clients and occasionally good friends. It became a vessel for contentment and movement toward helping ourselves figure out HOW to deal with those conflicting emotions instead of just pushing them down.
My writing is full of Both/And EVERYWHERE and how embracing the polar opposites can finally help us be well with all of our feelings.
It is usually very honest (and human, including the occasional swear) and seeking the good, Jesus and hope. That is almost always the both/and for me.
If you visit here often, you WILL certainly hear me talk about Mr. Rogers. (I promise, you will!) My very favorite quote of his embodies both/and beautifully:
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
It is just barely 24 hours post-thanksgiving celebrations; my stomach still feels full of all the goodness, as does my heart. From the gratitude and love experienced in our church home to the love of family and friends, mouth – watering meals, laughter and moments unforgettable to the white blanket of snow outside my […]
It’s not that I don’t agree with people’s right to choose. I say it all the time, to brave clients to my kids, to myself. We each DO get to choose. I have spent months processing the strain and stress of this election cycle with those in every part of my life: friends, family, clients, […]
No matter where you are today, you are important. https://stacymcneely.com/my-heart-at-the-end-of-this-week-feels-torn-in-so-many-places/
I wrote this Monday, but for some reason had difficulty publishing it… She smiled at me, eyes full of depth, love and joy. “Mama, you are always there for us.” My heart jumped up to my throat in that very second. The dialogue in my mind was so ready to argue the minute she said […]
Hey there, I am not sure how long I will keep posting here and on my business page. We are working on adding a subscribe button for direct notifications on the new page. Until then, here are some new thoughts today and beyond. God is good. https://stacymcneely.com/whatever-we-have-to-do/
Hi there! I have a new post just published here! I am so sorry for the delay, working diligently on the new merged site that combines my work and my writing. Thank you for your patience as we are trying to get the new site set and just as user friendly. Until I can get […]
I find myself in a strange, yet lovely and new spot as I age. I am far more accepting of myself, the roles that I am called to, the ways these change like the tide and the ways they are beautifully and achingly the same. My role as “mom,” is ever-changing as my kids also […]
Hey there, there are some exciting changes coming, at least for me! Through the help of my friend, Dan, we are working on stream-lining this blog and my professional website. It will be undergoing some upgrades in the weeks to come and I am excited about that. What does that mean for you? For now, […]
You can feel the energy building in your body, your head spinning….realize you must find a way to manage it…. Lace us your shoes; you leave your Air Pods home and now listen to each footfall, hoping you will find the answer to the question that is rattling your insides, even though the question itself […]